Bella's Halo
by Dramione Cullen
Summary: Edward has always put Bella on a pedestal. He cherishes her humanity and doesn't want her to change to a vampire. They fight about it one night and these are Bella's thoughts. Set to the song 'Halo'. Dedicated to A Liars Choice. I own nothing.Oneshot BxE


**OK credit needs to be given to A~Liars~Choice. For inspiring me an giving advice on storylines. For recomending song choices and just generally being very honest with me. **

**The song is Halo by Bethany Joy Lenz. This song was pointed out by A~Liars~Choice and is such a Bella and Edward song. Hope you enjoy and please is set after New Moon **

**Bella POV**

Edward and I have had yet another argument. And yet again it is over the little matter of my turning. Does he not understand that I just want to be with him,I don't care if I'm human or not, I need to be with him. He wants to keep me human. To stay as James once said ' A fragile little human'.

I can see it everytime he looks at me. He looks like I am something more, like I am a miracle for him. It's all because I love him no matter what he is. It started because I had tried to convince him that doing it sooner would be better than later. I had pressurised him about it. He see's my humanity as his something precious that shouldn't be lost. He thinks that I am innocent and too pure to fit into his world. I never made a promise that I would stay human. All of the family had discussed it and we came to a vote that it was better for me to be changed.

I can see it in his eyes everytime we fight about it. He sees it as throwing away my soul. I think he thinks that by keeping me human and being able to still be with me it shows that he is not all 'monster'. Does he not realise that he is my angel. He wants what is best for me. What if what is best for me is being with me. He knows I would give him anything. Anything except staying human.

_I never promised you a ray of light  
I never promised there'd be sunshine every day  
I'll give you everything I have  
The good the bad_

He tells me that I'm perfect,amazing, I amaze him constantly. He always makes me out to be something more than ........well me. I'm crazy,clumsy,plain Bella Swan. I get things wrong. I slip up and make mistakes. Same as every other human. There is nothing special about me at all. I am not astoundingly beautiful like Rosalie or amazingly perfect like Alice.

It makes me uncomfortable when he makes out I'm something I'm not. He has me down as something perfect like a saint. There is no way that I can live up to as a human.

_Why do you put me on a pedestal?  
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below  
So help me down you've got it wrong  
I don't belong there_

I have done stupid things in my life. Like the time in Phoenix a few years ago where I thought it would be a smart idea to steal a bottle of my mums whiskey and drink it with my friends. I was 12 and lets just say that it ended with me being sick for days on end. Would someone perfect have done that. I don't think so. Or what about the time that I stole a magazine from a store. Ok so yeah it wasn't grand theft auto and I did do it by accident, but my point is that if I was so wonderful and perfect it wouldn't have happened. Clearly my soul isn't as squeeky clean as he thinks.

I've done some dangerous stuff in my time. Like when I got a tattoo. Fine it was stick on but still. It was pretty crazy. My skin hurt for ages. Turns out I was allergic to the stuff thats in the stick ons.

Sometimes I just feel so tired of having to live up to the expectations that he has of me. I want to be able to make mistakes and not be afraid that I am a disappointment.

_One thing is clear  
I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
But standing from here  
You wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so if you were me  
And I, I just want to love you  
Oh I, I just want to love you_

The only good thing that I have ever been good at in my life is loving Edward. I love him more than I ever thought it was possible to love another being. I never thought I could want to be with somebody so much. It hurts to be away from him when he is out hunting. I know that he is going to come back but my heart aches and all I can think about is him.

I would do anything for Edward. All he has to do is ask. It doesn't matter what it as long as it isn't staying human. It's funny the one thing he wants is the one thing that I can't seem to agree. That doesn't mean I love him any less.

Only he has the power to destroy me and vice versa but I know that he won't because I couldn't do it to him. Hurting him would be like killing myself. I couldn't do it. I couldn't put him or I through that are one in the same and to hurt one would be to hurt the other

I love him more than life itself.

He makes my skin burn and my heart race, I can't think clearly when he is near me. I do things I shouldn't. That was what really started the argument. He had kissed me and wanted me to stay still and not do anything like get over excited. I couldn't help it though here was this angel, this god kissing me and I ended up launching myself into him and trying to push him that little bit further.

He froze and pushed me away before doing his usual lecture. I had to be a good girl and not push him too far or else he could hurt me by accident. I had only stated that if I was changed then we wouldn't have to worry. Well that wasn't a good idea was it. He went into defensive mode and gave his usual answer.

_I always said that I would make mistakes  
I'm only human and that's my saving grace  
I'll fall as hard as I try  
So don't be blinded  
See me as I really am  
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin  
So pull me from that pedestal  
I don't belong there_

Humans make mistakes Edward. Humans do things they shouldn't. And don't you love humans Edward? Well then let me make the mistakes, let me push the boundaries. Don't _you_ push _me_ away. Where's the argument now? Where are all of your reasons for me staying human? You either want me to be human and risk getting hurt or you can change me and not worry as much. To me the choice is simple. Edward however is stubborn and will probably think up a hundered more reasons to deter me from this change.

It won't happen though. I mean don't get me wrong it isn't just about being able to consumate our relationship or being super strong. It's more than that it's about being able to be with the one person I love forever. It's about never having to let him go. Are they not really good reasons. Do they not count as being amazing reasons to change.

_One thing is clear  
I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
But standing from here  
You wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so if you were me  
And I, I just want to love you  
Oh I, I just want to love you_

I know what will happen he will eventually come back to my room tonight and we won't bring it up until the next argument. We will carry on pretending that it isn't an issue. We won't confront the issue for a while. When it comes time for Carlisle to do his thing. Edward will most likely try and stop me. He will try and give valid reasons to hold off for just a _little _while longer. Nope it won't happen buddy. This girl's mind is made up and is not going to change.

He will then try and dazzle me and see if that way works and guess what Edward? That won't work either. Not on this, I won't be swayed so better get used to it. Ha bet that will shock the hell out of him. Little Bella who always does what I want when I dazzle her is standing up for herself. He might think that he doesn't dazzle me anymore which obviously isn't true. I mean he dazzles me more than he did the first day we met. This is different though, my mind is made up and no amount of dazzling will change that.

_Like to think that you know me  
But in your eyes  
I am something above me  
That's only in your mind  
Only in your mind_

I wont hesitate to stoop to lower levels to get what I want. By that I mean I won't hesitate to do it behind his back. I may wait until he is away hunting with Emmett or Jasper and then just casually persuade Carlisle. He wouldn't expect his _angel_ to do that now would he. It wouldn't be something he would see coming.

_I wear a, I wear a, I wear a Halo_

Maybe he will change his mind. Crazier things have happened.

Here he comes into my room. His arms wrap around me and I can feel him breathe my scent in deeply. Again I am happy that he can't read my mind. If he only knew what I was thinking he may have just killed me. He doesn't bring up the issue as expected and just lays with me on my bed. He switches on the radio and hums along to the familiar melody. I listen to him for a second before going back into my own thoughts. I love him but I will do whatever it takes to be with him forever.

_One thing is clear  
I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
But standing from here  
You wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so if you were me  
And I, I just want to love you  
Oh I, I just want to love you_

I know that I if I stay the way I am that one day I won't be here and that means one day neither will Edward. Thats a thought I can't bare.I don't want to imagine no Edward Cullen even of I no longer exist. He may see me as an Angel that can do no wrong but I know that if it means being with him forever I will do what I have to.

_(I just wanna love you)  
Heya Hey Hey Hey...Hey Hey Halo  
Heya Hey Hey Hey...Hey Hey HAlo  
Heya Hey Hey Hey...Hey Hey Halo  
Heya Hey Hey Hey...Hey Hey Halo _

As I feel my eyelids start to become heavy and I start to drift into sleep one thought fills my mind. No matter what or who I am. I want one thing. I want to love Edward Cullen forever.

**Ok so this was a real short oneshot. Inspired by the song Halo by Bethany Love Lenz. As I said at the start the song was brought to my attention by A~Liars~Choice who has been really inspiring me. So this is dedicated to you. Hope you enjoy it. **

**Dramione Cullen.**


End file.
